Courntey Pippin-Mathur | notebook ,  I have to get this off my chest

Monday, November 14

I have to get this off my chest

cause it's driving me crazy. I was so very looking forward to theSCBWI Winter Conference in NewYork. Ever since we moved to the east coast, I thought about how cool it would be to be close to the action and be able to attend one of the giant conferences without having to worry about the additional costs of airfare or a hotel. I could mingle with fellow illustrators, have a professional portfolio review and be exposed to many, many art directors and editors.

I checked the website everyday, looking for the update that was due to be posted on November 15th. I was thrilled when I saw the info was posted last week, I sat down with a cup of tea and im'd the hubby so he could look at it with me from the confines of his cubicle. Then, the bottom dropped from my happy, rose-colored world.

Not only would the conference cost 360 dollars for two days and to exhibit in the New York show. (75 just to have an opportunity to show your work, plus the 290 just for the happiness of attending the conference, ouch!) As a stay at home mom, money is a bit tight and even $80 for the local conference was a stretch. I was expecting something in the 200 range but almost 400 just for a 2 day conference is the equivalent of kicking my but tto the ground while laughing maniacally.

The true thriller-killer is that I can't even attend the super cool Illustrator pre-conference because it is only for published illustrators. That was a huge let-down. I understand that they want to have something for the truly serious artist but I feel so let down by the fact that you have to be published to get in. It seems redundant. I want to go to the conference so I can learn how to get published and make contacts, share experiences and I can't get my foot in the door. It seems like a circle, you have to do A to get B but you could certainly use B to get to A in the first place. Confusing, yes?

I am so utterly bummed. I'm torn between scraping together the money so I can get into the conference, make contacts and experience my first large Illustrator conference and having to really ask myself if it is worth it. Am I really good enough to get published in this sluggish market? Am I delusional for thinking I have a chance of running with the big dogs? Why are there no personal portfolio reviews listed? I need a portfolio review, darn it, isn't that a large part of one of these conferences? I know how to build a portfolio, thank you very much, I want someone to look at it and tell me what they think!

I am just frustrated and bummed. *sigh*

<< Notebook Home

6 Comments:

Anonymous rebecca said...

yup. It sucks. I don't understand why the illustrator days is for published illustrators either...it makes absolutely no sense-I was actually thinking about going, but I'm super pissed about the whole thing. I'm going to protest by coloring in a coloring book the whole weekend.

11/14/2005 7:17 PM 
Blogger monicalee said...

Oh dear! I have attended the past conferences in NY. They are good and can be encouraging. I would not put a grain of salt in the "published" Illustrators thing. You are published. Period. Look at the lovely Illo.

11/14/2005 8:36 PM 
Blogger Dee said...

Umm, I'm so ticked off about the whole thing that I just emailed the conference coordinator asking why it was that an association such as the SCBWI (that is dedicated to assisting its members) would intentionally impede it's aspiring members from being able to accomplish their goals. Yeah....I just hope that the email doesn't get me blacklisted. hehe

11/14/2005 10:44 PM 
Blogger Roz said...

There has to be a way that you can attend the illustrator day, Courtney. I would email Priscilla Burris to see if she can help. She is the national Illustrator Coordinator. burrisdraw@sbcglobal.net

11/15/2005 12:13 PM 
Anonymous Sarah said...

You ARE talented enough. You are not delusional. Your work is great! Technically strong, stylistically very original and expressive, and you just need to find the right opportunity. The hardest part is just to keep trying, at least that is what I tell myself. I want to get there someday too, and I have to believe that there is a place for my style if I work hard enough and be the best that *I* can possibly be.

I hope you can go to some of the conference and have a great time.

11/15/2005 4:09 PM 
Blogger Courtney said...

well, i'm glad i'm not alone in my frustration. misery loves comppany, y'know. i really don't know what i'm going to do but most likely it will involve waiting until next year, sigh...

p.s. roz - thanks for the address, i'll e-mail her and see what she says.

11/16/2005 2:07 PM 

Post a Comment

<< Home